Three Things To Stop Now

How To Change Your View Of Yourself and Others

Words have power. What I choose to speak, and what I choose to listen to, changes my thinking and shapes the way I see myself, others, and the world. The wild truth is that most of us know this and still allow ourselves to fall into mental and emotional snares that slowly tighten their grip like the constricting serpent suffocating its next victim. Here are three ways we can immediately alter our perception of the world we live in.

1. Stop Providing Gossip A Platform

Gossip is divulging information (accurate or not) about others when there is malicious intent. Typically, someone who gossips will justify their gossip by saying the motive is pure. I remember people in my childhood Church gossiping about others but adding, "So be in prayer for her," to justify the gossip. When I gossip, or lend my ear to gossip, I am allowing my thoughts to be shaped toward a particular slant regarding the subject of the gossip. The dangerous component is that after this seed plants itself in my mind, I subconsciously look for affirmations of this budding thought. What I search for, I usually find. Stop gossip in its tracks.

2. Stop Using Toxic "I AM" Statements

Everything I speak after the words "I Am" are communicating to my heart who I am. While this may seem obvious, I've heard hundreds of people make proclamations about who they are and over time, they become those things. On the TDCJ ID Cards, in all capital red letters, substantially larger than our names the word: OFFENDER is declared. In recent years the system has changed the word to "INMATE," but the fact remains that it has been declared over the hearts and minds of people who are incarcerated. There is a massive difference between acknowledging my current state, or my struggles, and accepting that as my identity. I AM currently incarcerated, but I AM NOT a prisoner. I AM a person who has broken the law, but I AM NOT a criminal. I can, and must acknowledge and own my past and present choices, but I also must refuse to allow false identity to be declared over my life. The more I have explored this idea, I have concluded that every label is a lie except the ones that God says about me. The same is true for you. Stop using toxic "I AM" statements.

3. Stop Believing We Know The Whole Story

In Covey's "Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People," he presents that we must first seek to understand and then be understood. When I gain partial, misleading, one-sided information and then draw a conclusion about a person or situation, I am allowing my mind to be slanted toward falsehood. There are always at least three sides to every story: person A's version, person B's version, and then the truth. If multiple people are involved the version expand exponentially. We must realize, even when we have heard all versions, we usually don't know the whole story. In order to change my view of myself and others, I must stop believing I know the whole story. When we choose to stop gossip, stop toxic "I AM" statements, and stop believing we know the whole story when we really don't, our hearts and minds have the opportunity to find renewal. Just like we must soak our dirty laundry to allow the stains to loosen up, we must soak our hearts and minds in things that are building, affirming, and filled with hope and remove ourselves from the ugly build up that clings itself to us. We get to decide what we listen to and what we speak. Choose love. Choose life. Declare today, "I Choose Hope!" I'd love to hear the ways you change how you view yourself and others.

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