Seven Things I'm Afraid To Share
If You're Still Around After This, You're My New BFF!
If I am going to be effective here, I want to remove the baggage that could hinder our future together. This blog as a relationship and it's important for me to be authentic and raw from the start. Maybe that seems dramatic and some might say it's not a good decision, but I believe you should know some of the good and some of the ugly about me. I have my issues, I'm a work in progress, and I don't ever want to pretend that I have it all together. So, if you get through this post and still choose to engage, you're definitely my kind of person! If not, no worries, and I wish you the best anyway. Either way, here we go.
1. I tend to over think things.
One of my worst habits is fixating on the future instead of being in the present. I can get so wrapped up in the "what ifs" and I worry about things that will probably never happen anyway. I'm working to live in the present and not over think the future.2. Mean comments still hurt me as a grown man.
Those who know me well think I'm unaffected by the mean and hurtful comments of others. That's not true. I do a much better job of hiding the effects of mean comments on my life than I used to, but they still hurt. Sticks and stones, right? Not for me, words can hurt.3. Sometimes I'm afraid of what my future will look like.
In prison, people constantly ask what you plan to do after release and frankly, I don't know. I have a thousand ideas and I have people who love me in spite of my past, but after serving two prison sentences, I don't know what my future will look like. I focus on what I can do today to help my future self find success, and leave the rest in God's hands.4. I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
This is a big one because so much stigma is attached, but for several years of my childhood I was sexually abused. I finally told someone when I was in high school, got the help I needed, and the abuse was reported, but this had a major impact on my life. After I shared this in a prison class I was helping facilitate, several men pulled me aside to say they also had been victims of sexual abuse. Healing begins when we stop hiding.5. I have a hard time trusting people.
We've all had people tell us they would be there for us and then disappear. I've had my fair share of this. I don't blame people for moving on, but it has created a level of distrust in me. When someone says they will be there, I want to believe it, but I still question if it's real. Trust takes time.6. I can be a bad friend.
As a highly motivated and driven person I have a bad habit of neglecting my friends in lieu of my pursuits. Throughout my incarceration I've realized that relationships matter the most. I'm now working to make sure I'm a good friend first, then a passionate pursuer of dreams second. What good is success if there's no one to celebrate with when you get there?7. Christians annoy me, and I'm a Christian.
Jesus is my Lord and Savior so I call myself a Christian, but unfortunately many Christians are vastly different from who Jesus is. When I study the Gospels I see Jesus as a loving, merciful, compassionate, forgiving Savior. A friend of those everyone else rejected and ignored. So why are so many "Christians" judgmental, condescending, entitled, and angry? As a follower of Christ, my job is to allow the Holy Spirit to transform me to be more like Him, and when I screw it up (which I obviously do), I get back up, dust myself off, and strive again to be more like Jesus. Well, there you have it, seven things that I was afraid to share. If you're still here, I am incredibly humbled and so grateful for you. Thank you for supporting your LO and for believing in change. Declare today: I Choose Hope! Which of these can you most relate to? Leave a comment or send a message to Trent, he'd love to connect.
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