I Choose Hope

  One Way TDCJ Is Failing I'm certainly not a constant critic of the "system." Admittedly, I am not a fan of the prison system as a whole but I was ignorant at best, apathetic at worst, when I walked the streets of the outside world as to how it functions and how it fails. The system is working to improve itself, and I wish it would seek counsel for improvements from those of us who reside within its walls, but the system is so expansive and diverse, their is not a "one-size-fits-all" solution to the issues within. One of the opportunities afforded to me while I live in the razor wire is to serve in the Christian Church community. Every Saturday a group of men load up and offer a Christian service for those who are confined to Administrative Segregation, or more currently known as "Restrictive Housing." The inmate led ministry team spends over six hours moving equipment to each wing in order to ensure there is an opportunity for those men to have ...

  Playing To Win "As long as God wakes you up, that means He ain't through with you yet. And if He wakes you up, you got a shot to correct it and get it right." -Steve Harvey The first time I met him, his bald head and skinny frame made me wonder if he was eating at all. His eyes seemed to walk the fine line between disconnect and broken with tears constantly pushing themselves for freedom, but somehow he managed to maintain a functional level of conversation. I didn't know him yet, but my heart broke for him and so I cautiously engaged in the same manner one might approach a scared and shivering puppy cowering fearful in the corner of an abandoned house. He had to be at least 18-years old to be in this prison multipurpose room but he could have easily been part of any high school marching band. "Are you doing okay?" I entered into the conversation with my own trepidation. His eyes snapped to mine and too quickly he shared that his grandmother had just pa...

How To Fight An Invisible Enemy The first question my family asked every time I had the chance to use the phone or get a visit was, "Are you safe?" My safety was paramount to my family and I am certain that my mother lost sleep during my first few years of incarceration. I was in my early 20s and knew very little about the world and even less about prison. I was not particularly vulnerable, per se, as I was in decent shape, had played football in high school, and was 6'2" but I was not street smart and had a tendency to trust people way too easily. My main fight would not be a physical one, it would end up being internal monsters that I have had to battle regularly in order to make it inside these prison walls. Over the years I have noticed that almost every inmate battles at least one of three distinct monsters and oftentimes these invisible enemies move so stealthily that unless we are actively looking for them we lose the war without even realizing we are in a ...

10 Tips To Get Through Annual Lockdown "I heard we're about to go on lockdown." The rumors begin as early as one week after we get off lockdown and they continue until eventually it is true. Lockdowns are just part of prison culture. At least one time a year each unit in the prison system will be placed on lockdown so unit security can shakedown the unit looking for contraband and ensure that the unit is clean, safe, and ready for normal operations. Depending on the size of the unit, a lockdown can last anywhere from 10-days to 30-days. Inmates will not be allowed to leave their cell or cubicle for any reason until their wing has gone through shakedown. Shakedown involves security staff going through each individuals property and searching common areas of a dorm looking for anything not allowed in the system. This can include major contraband like weapons and drugs, to minor contraband like extra necessities and the like. All meals are delivered to the residents in a br...

New Prison Course For Texas Inmates Photo credit: TDCJ-French Robertson Unit It's one thing to watch prison movies and TV shows in the free world but it's a completely different ballgame to watch them while sitting in a prison day room. "The Green Mile," starring a younger Tom Hanks takes place on death row of a prison. "Dead man walking," is repeatedly announced when an inmate is transported from his cell to a different location. As I look around my prison day room I cannot help but notice that although some were given a life-sentence, none were sentenced to death, and yet the attitude and spirit of many around me was that of a "dead man walking." In early 2023 I felt that all too familiar nudge to create a program that would challenge and encourage my incarcerated peers to stop waiting to be free from the razor wire before they started to live again. We do not get these days, weeks, or decades back in our lives... this IS part of our life! Wat...

Revival In Texas Prisons Photo Credit: TDCJ-French Robertson Unit Some balk at the idea that a group of men in a maximum security prison in Texas would "find Jesus" and turn their lives around, but not Mike Barber Ministries. For four decades the retired Houston Oiler tight end has gone into prisons and jails around the world sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with thousands of incarcerated people. In April 2025 I experienced this first hand. Even after a recent knee surgery, Mr. Barber walked throughout the entire prison complex his humble, approachable demeanor and hugged every willing individual reminding each one that God loves them and wants a relationship with them. A week before Mike Barber Ministries arrived to the unit a handpicked team of inmate ministers were sent from other units to get to know the people assigned here. Their job was to meet as many people living here as possible and make sure they knew what was coming. A weeklong revival consisting of two serv...

7 Musts Before Visiting Your Loved One Getting a visit in prison is one of the most significant blessings an incarcerated person can receive. When someone I love chooses to take time out of their life to drive to my unit, spend their time off, and endure metal detectors and razor wire to sit with me for a few short hours makes me remember how incredibly loved I truly am. Prison visitation can also spike anxiety for both the visitor and the person being visited. I have had visits where I feel the need to talk quickly to make sure everything can be said, I've also had visits when the conversation lulls and we both feel lost for words. Sometimes tears flow, sometimes laughter carries, but every visit is special. Regardless of who you are visiting there are a few things you can do to help make the visitation process easier on all parties. Here are seven recommendations for your prison visits. Before you visit your incarcerated loved one: 1. Check the dress code. Prisons will have ...

Questions You Must Ask A Potential Parole Lawyer When news spreads throughout the system that someone was granted a positive parole vote the auto response is, "Did they have a parole lawyer?" Parole feels like a mystery for most inmates and those who love and support us. Rarely do any of us have the privilege of meeting face to face with an actual voting member of the Parole Board so we simply write letters, mail in certificates, and pray that our best efforts will overshadow the crime(s) we committed years ago. Hiring a Parole Attorney is an option, albeit an expensive one. Inside the razor wire there are very mixed reviews around this subject. Some feel it's a scam, others swear by the effectiveness of the choice to hire an attorney to represent your loved ones case to parole. Whatever you decide with your LO, here are some questions you most certainly should ask before you hire anyone. 1. What will they actually do for your LO? Some "parole attorneys" sim...

Actions > Intentions When I was finally returned to my unit of assignment I spent the first two weeks reconnecting with friends and exploring the many changes that had occurred in the 17-months I was away. It was obvious that many great programs had come to the Robertson Unit like the Forever Sober Program (FSP) created by an inmate to promote sobriety, affirmation, a positive environment, and incentive based opportunities for being part of the solution for change within the system. However, I was also faced with many conversations of that revealed a lack of knowledge of the Word of God, a feeling of loneliness, and a strange sense of competition between those who profess a desire to help make the prison culture of yesterday a thing of the past. "Someone needs to promoted legitimate unity." "Someone should start an engaging and relevant Bible study...for inmates, by inmates." As I heard these echoing themes I began to see the real problem, namely, no one was ...

How To Stop Settling Every once in a while a song lyric, a phrase, or a quote will sprint its way past my ears and resonate directly with my soul. This weekend I sat with two men at one of the cold, stainless steel tables in my assigned prison wing when one of the men nonchalantly said, "Without a 'What Now,' there's always a 'go back.'" The conversation lulled on for a moment before my heart woke up to what he had said, "Wait, what did you say again?" I questioned. My tone must have been jarring because John repeated himself taking great care to get his words right, "Without a 'What Now,' there's always a 'go back.'" Every time in my life that I have not had a specific plan, goal, or purpose for what's next, I have returned to old habits, old hangups, old patterns of doubt and fear, old addictions, and old ways of thinking. I must have a, "What Now?" Our physical bodies love comfort. Innately we ru...

Why Your Life Feels Aimless When I was a freshman in High School I was called into the school counselor's office because someone had expressed concern that I had allowed myself to get too spread thin and my grades and social life were suffering as a result. I had been elected Class President, participated in football, basketball, track, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, speech, theatre, and my church youth group. I had yet to learn the power and purpose of the word, "No!" My life was moving at such a rapid pace that I was stressed and felt unknown even though I was surrounded by many people. That school counselor helped me understand that my value, my worth, was not based on my performance. She helped me define what my personal vision was for myself. One of Covey's Seven Habits is to "begin with the end in mind." When I paused and thought about what I wanted to be remembered for when I graduated high school it was not that I juggled every club and sport, it...

The Classes Your LO Needs To Sign Up For Now Most of my choices are made for me. I am told what I will eat, when I can go outside, what job I'll have, where I'll live, the clothes I'll wear, and even when I am allowed to shower, but there are some things I am allowed to decide for myself. I always get to choose my attitude, who I spend most of my time with, and what I believe in. In addition, the prison system allows me to choose the classes and programs I will sign up for. Some programs in the prison system have specific requirements like a positive parole vote or a certain score on academic placement tests, and some programs exclude certain criminal offenses for a variety of reasons, but there are always options and opportunities for personal growth and development while inside prison. All units may not offer the same programs, but there are a few classes that most units have available. Here, I will share the top programs the Texas prison system offers on most faciliti...