Three Monsters Inmates Battle
How To Fight An Invisible Enemy
The first question my family asked every time I had the chance to use the phone or get a visit was, "Are you safe?" My safety was paramount to my family and I am certain that my mother lost sleep during my first few years of incarceration. I was in my early 20s and knew very little about the world and even less about prison. I was not particularly vulnerable, per se, as I was in decent shape, had played football in high school, and was 6'2" but I was not street smart and had a tendency to trust people way too easily. My main fight would not be a physical one, it would end up being internal monsters that I have had to battle regularly in order to make it inside these prison walls. Over the years I have noticed that almost every inmate battles at least one of three distinct monsters and oftentimes these invisible enemies move so stealthily that unless we are actively looking for them we lose the war without even realizing we are in a battle.
1. Fear of Failure
The inmate bravado pounds its chest and announces to the testosterone fueled dayroom that the alpha male has arrived. This public charade masks the truth that inside there is a man who has experienced so much failure and rejection in life that he has serious doubts of his ability to succeed. He has tried to gain attention, approval, love, money, and acceptance so many times but has found himself inside a cage of physical and emotional incarceration and is lost about how he can succeed because all he has learned is how to fail. The hidden monster called Fear of Failure often roars behind the mask of the most hardened inmate.2. Fear of Success
The sibling enemy of Fear of Failure is the Fear of Success. If all I have ever known is failure, how will I handle success? Sabotaging ones own potential success will not make sense to people who have tasted success in life, but for the inmate who was expelled from elementary school for fighting, kicked off the middle school football team for a failing grade, and was not allowed to date the person he had a crush on because of his last name, this person has only known failure. Success is a foreign land and most people are more comfortable with a misery is known than a blessing that comes with uncertainty. Many inmates fight the monster that is the Fear of Success.3. Imposter Syndrome
This psychological phenomenon is where people feel unworthy of success or accolades and fear being exposed as a fraud. This invisible enemy is common among inmates who find deeper levels of faith inside the walls, or complete a class or program designed to help place us on a better path. Many inmates will graduate and then feel inadequate and if they admit they still have struggles or fears they did not have the same experience everyone else seemed to. This enemy can become most dangerous upon release from incarceration when an individual does not know if he should share his past with others, or when to share it. Imposter Syndrome is the third most common invisible enemy of an inmate. Fear of Failure, Fear of Success, and Imposter Syndrome are internal self deprecating enemies that cause strife, turmoil, and pain for those serving time in our Nations prisons and jails. While my family was right to seek assurance about my physical safety, your loved one needs to also be asked about their battle with these three invisible enemies. We don't need to be licensed therapists or ordained ministers to check in and have conversation about fears and insecurities. Trust is always a factor, but inside every person is a heart that longs to be loved and have opportunity for growth. The battle against these invisible enemies begins when we acknowledge their existence and create space to unpack their foothold in our lives. How can you help your loved one expose these invisible enemies in their life? Help them today and declare to the world, "I Choose Hope!"Like Trent's blog? Subscribe to his monthly newsletter at ichoosehope.substack.com.
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