It's Not Over Yet
Playing To Win
"As long as God wakes you up, that means He ain't through with you yet. And if He wakes you up, you got a shot to correct it and get it right." -Steve Harvey
The first time I met him, his bald head and skinny frame made me wonder if he was eating at all. His eyes seemed to walk the fine line between disconnect and broken with tears constantly pushing themselves for freedom, but somehow he managed to maintain a functional level of conversation. I didn't know him yet, but my heart broke for him and so I cautiously engaged in the same manner one might approach a scared and shivering puppy cowering fearful in the corner of an abandoned house. He had to be at least 18-years old to be in this prison multipurpose room but he could have easily been part of any high school marching band. "Are you doing okay?" I entered into the conversation with my own trepidation. His eyes snapped to mine and too quickly he shared that his grandmother had just passed away. "I'm sorry bro," I replied, "What's your name?" "Chris," he managed in a voice full of sadness. "It's gonna be okay man. Just another reason that prison sucks and why we must focus on our personal growth while we're here so we can get out, stay out, and be there for our families instead of being here." My encouragement script was polished and I was feeling awfully proud of myself when this young, cracked, fragile man shook his head and said, "I'll never go home." Chris was given two stacked life sentences. When a judge or jury is sentencing someone found guilty of multiple criminal offenses they usually will run the sentences concurrent, meaning they will be served at the same time. In these instances there are multiple convictions but instead of having to complete one sentence before starting the next, a person will serve all the imposed sentences simultaneously. In rare circumstances a judge may impose stacked time, or consecutive sentencing, which means you must complete the first sentence before starting the next. In the State of Texas, a significant majority of felony offenses are deemed "3G" which means one must complete 50% of their sentenced before being eligible for parole review (not necessarily granted parole). If an individual is given a life sentence they will have to serve 30-years before being eligible for parole. What Chris had shared was that he had to serve 30-years before being reviewed by parole and if he is granted parole he would simply start his next life sentence. In other words, if the stars align perfectly for him, he will serve 60-years flat and be released from prison. He will be 83-years old. Like most people I wondered what he did. I felt that surely he was a school shooter or something else of unimaginable brutality. That is not the case for Chris. The exact nature of his crimes are not things I feel free to share as it is his story, his past, but he is an amazing young man who has found the strength to get up and move forward in his adversity. Chris knows that it's not over yet! Being around men like Chris has given me fresh perspective. I am serving a 24-year sentence and am eligible for parole after 12-years. While I am much older than Chris, I see a resilience in him that I am challenged by. He wakes up each day and finds something to live for. Chris finds joy in serving others. He clings to faith, and he stays connected to community in order to improve himself. His poetry is beautiful and he fully accepts responsibility for his past choices and makes great choices today. Too many times in my life I played it safe. I found some level of success and became complacent, or I fell down and simply accepted that this was the hand I was dealt (self inflicted or not). When we do this we are essentially saying that we have reached the final destination and now we have resigned to our lives. We have stopped playing to win and have started playing not to lose. This always ends poorly. As a man who has spent more of my adult life inside the prison system than outside of the walls, I know that it's easy to shrink back. I have people in prison with me, and people in the outside world who tell me it's foolish to share what I'm learning in the middle of this fight. I'm uncertain of so many things regarding my future, and I have an incredibly ugly past, but I know it's not over yet and I refuse to play the game of life in survival mode. I was put on this planet to help others, to encourage others, to challenge others, and to become a better man. This purpose and calling does not stop because of my incarceration, and it does not have to wait to begin upon my release. Our lives matter and can make a difference whether in prison or free, rich or poor, young or old, two stacked life sentences or a clean criminal record -- it's not over yet! If you would like to connect with Chris, send an e-message to me and I will ask him if he is open to it. Either way, pray for his legal fight that is now in Federal Appeals Court. Declare today, "I Choose Hope!"
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