I Choose Hope

Turning Obstacles Into Opportunities In July 2023 I was transferred across the State of Texas to a new prison facility because I had signed up to take a college program. When I left my unit I was miserable and for several months I tried everything I knew to return to my unit of assignment. Each of my attempts failed miserably. Once the calendar flipped over to 2024 I made the conscious decision to try and make the most of my new location. The environment was uncomfortable, opportunities were minimal, and I deeply missed the relationships I had developed at my original unit, but I dug in anyway. Here are my 3 biggest takeaways from 2024: 1. Physical Health Is Vital Through intermittent fasting, a commitment to burpies, and a reduction in carb intake I lost 57-pounds in 2024. Not only do I look better, my energy level went up, my attitude is much more optimistic, and my self confidence has increased. Physical health is a vital puzzle piece for all other areas of my life. 2. Writing Fo...

5 Ways I Handle Anxiety Note: Before diving in I want to remind you I am NOT a doctor. If you're experiencing prolonged or severe stress/anxiety, schedule an appointment with a mental health professional. Life can be full of stress, worry, and anxiety. Prison certainly pumps these out on a daily basis with countless unknowns, lack of privacy, reminders that we are not in control, and uncertainty about the future. I've seen some of my closest prison friends lose hair, lose weight without trying, gain excessive amounts of weight, and even fall back into drug addiction as a direct result of anxiety. I've had my fair share of anxiety battles so I want to unpack anxiety and share some ways I respond to it. What Is Anxiety? My favorite definition of anxiety is simply when we mentally create possible scenarios. It's worrying about future potential outcomes, and then ruminating over them. I recognize when I'm heading down this path because I notice my thoughts repeat...

If You're Still Around After This, You're My New BFF! If I am going to be effective here, I want to remove the baggage that could hinder our future together. This blog as a relationship and it's important for me to be authentic and raw from the start. Maybe that seems dramatic and some might say it's not a good decision, but I believe you should know some of the good and some of the ugly about me. I have my issues, I'm a work in progress, and I don't ever want to pretend that I have it all together. So, if you get through this post and still choose to engage, you're definitely my kind of person! If not, no worries, and I wish you the best anyway. Either way, here we go. 1. I tend to over think things. One of my worst habits is fixating on the future instead of being in the present. I can get so wrapped up in the "what ifs" and I worry about things that will probably never happen anyway. I'm working to live in the present and not over think t...

The Best (and Worst) Commissary Items On e-Comm My sister Meghan is a rock star and takes care of me with commissary funds and an occasional e-comm. But she recently told me that she has worried in the past she is going to order something awful for me. The good news is that most inmates will love anything you send because every little bit helps. The bad news is that there are a few items that most inmates would rather not receive in an e-comm order. Here are five recommendations of what you should definitely order, and five things you should probably avoid. 5 Things To Order On e-Comm 1. Soups Ramen Soups are a staple in prison for almost every meal outside of the chow hall. Your LO will gladly accept as many soups as you're able to order on an e-comm because they also are the most common currency. 2. Meat and Fish Pouches Unless your LO is a vegetarian, pouches can transform a bland prison meal into fine dining. Don't over think which pouches to order, we're resourcef...

My Favorite "God Behind Bars" Prison Ministries Something I miss about the free world is worshipping God with my family and friends at church each week. That may sound crazy coming from an inmate, but I was raised in church and vividly remember many of my childhood Sunday mornings being rushed out of the house by my parents to make sure we were on time for church. God Behind Bars and the Pando app have created opportunities for incarcerated people to worship God with our families even while serving time. Here are a few of my personal favorite ministries on Pando and why. Podcasts on Pando with God Behind Bars 1. Forgiven Felons with Jay Dan Jay Dan is a success story. After serving prison time he has dedicated his life to serving in prison ministry. With authenticity and a contagious sense humor, Gumm conducts powerful interviews, facilitates family shout out Zoom calls, and exemplifies what a man of God looks like today. 2. Worthy People with Cody and Julia Cody is...

  Just A Few Of My Favorite Quotes At The Moment "You can be a victim, or you can be a leader you just don't get to do both." -Robin Sharma I'll admit it, I used to play the victim role and I was pretty good at it if I do say so myself. These days I meet many guys in prison who are masters at shifting the blame to their circumstances, to other people, or to the judicial system for their incarceration. Unfortunately this is kind of the norm around here. Taking full responsibility for our poor choices in life can be difficult. Sharma explains that people who see themselves as victims are not leaders. Leaders step up to the plate when it's time to swing, they face the fire when things get hot, and they do the things that others don't want to do in order to find success. Until we decide to stop allowing our lives to be determined by "victim" stance we will never lead our lives, our families, or our communities in the most effective way. I want to be a...

Surprise, It's NOT Money! After spending almost two decades of my adult life inside the prison system, I have learned what matters most when it comes to love and support from the outside world. I used to think having a significant commissary account balance showed that I have people who care about me in the free world, but as time has passed, and as the Ramen soups have disappeared, I have realized that while financial support certainly has value, there are much more important things than having a full locker. If you really want to show your loved one that you care, here are the three things they need from you the most. 1. Affirmation When everything that shaped your identity is suddenly ripped from you and you're left only with a shaved head, a prison uniform, and an I.D. card proclaiming "INMATE" or "OFFENDER" in all capital red letters, it's easy to lose self-esteem. While we may all agree that the clothes we wear, and the location we sleep does not ...

Jordan and Nike The 2023 Ben Affleck directed film, "Air," is about the origin of the groundbreaking partnership between Nike and basketball legend, Michael Jordan. Throughout the entire story, Sonny Vaccaro (played by Matt Damon) was told that Nike securing a contract with Michael Jordan was impossible. Sonny heard this from Jordan's agent, from his boss at Nike, from previous coaches of Jordan, and even from Jordan's own mother, but Vaccaro persisted. Most of us know that a contract was signed, a partnership was created, and the deal between Nike and Michael Jordan, called Air Jordan, changed the landscape of contracts between athletes and brands. Like Vaccaro, we live in a world where we are told some things are simply impossible, where the status quo is accepted by almost everyone around us. We have a tendency to flippantly say, "That's just how things are," never striving for something better, something bigger, or something more meaningful. Those ...

Five Things You Must Include, Two Things To Avoid Introduction After years of "doing time" with your loved one, the day finally arrives when they ask, "Hey, can you do me a favor? I could really use a support letter from you for parole. Will you write one?" Perhaps on autopilot, you agree to write a letter but have no clue where to start. Over the years I have advised many on this subject through their parole eligible loved one and I have read countless support letters. While parole is not a guarantee, I believe it is critical that every inmate present their best in order to have any chance of getting a positive parole vote. Here, we'll look at the five things every parole support letter should include, and two things to avoid. Parole Support Letters Should Include 1. Your Loved Ones Offense At first this may seem counterproductive, but your acknowledgment of the offense your loved one committed demonstrates that you are fully aware of the crime(s) they are inc...

  What to Get an Inmate for Christmas Introduction I love the holidays and I bet you do too. Even while I'm serving time in prison I still feel the Christmas spirit and choose to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. I want to be in the free world giving presents, enjoying time with my family, and overdosing on cheesy holiday movies, but that's not my reality right now. My family and close friends have told me they wish they could find something to get me for Christmas but they struggle to find prison approved presents, and I imagine you might be struggling too. So I'm here to help! Here are my Top 10 Gift Ideas for your loved one this holiday season. 1. Send A Book Whether finding the newest release from your loved ones favorite author, or choosing something nonfiction on a subject you know they like, sending a book through Amazon or any bookstore to your loved one will show them you care. One book I use and recommend is "Hot Pot Chef: Texas Prisons Cookbook" by ...

  Suicide and Self Harm Prevention In Prisons and Jails As they wheeled him out of the building on that gurney, my stomach tightened in knots. His white prison uniform was splattered with blood and his head rolled in the way you'd expect an unconscious persons head to roll. I turned to my coworkers and said, "This isn't okay." During the holiday season there is a spike of suicide attempts in our Nations prisons and jails. While the months of November and December are times of celebration for those in the free world, the holidays are just another reminder for your loved one that they are away from you. As a supporter of someone doing time, there are ways you can make a difference in your loved ones life, and decrease the chances they will try to harm themselves here are three: 1. Reach Out (Connect With Your Loved One) People who have never spent time incarcerated cannot begin to fathom how much your loved one thinks about you. Inmates spend countess hours looking at...

1. I'm a die hard Texas Longhorn fan.  From a young age I remember attending Longhorn football, basketball, and volleyball games with my family. Something about the Frank Erwin Center, the smell of fresh popcorn, and the brass section playing "The Eyes Of Texas" makes me proud to be a Texan. The burnt orange color is like a Texas sunset, and Bevo is my hero. I watched Ricky Williams break the NCAA Rushing Record against Texas A and M, and I'm forever a Longhorn fan! Hook 'Em.  2. I met President Clinton in the White House.  Being selected by the American Legion to attend Boys' Nation in Washington D.C. as an 18-year old meant I would have the honor of stepping into the White House to shake hands with the most powerful man in the free world, the President of the United States, Bill Clinton. My adrenaline spiked as the moment arrived and I stepped forward for this once in a lifetime experience that I'll never forget.  3. I can two step and line dance.  Havin...